The Forgotten Zodiac

"Nate?" Seria called, worried immediately. She gave Vaira and Tasia and sidelong look, then said "Don't worry; we'll come back and make sure that you both get out." Then she turned and ran after Nate, catching up to him quickly. Tasia looked up at Vaira and asked "Are we going to be freed, lahnir?"

Vaira nuzzled her and said "I'm not sure, little one."

Seria followed Nate all the way back out of the cave, since only she and him and stayed behind. The others had all gone back to the castle to speak with the queen. "Nate?" Seria said quietly, pausing near the entrance to the cave. "...What's wrong?" she asked, curling her tail down between her legs.

"It doesn't concern you!" Nate whipped around to face her, a snarl playing around his lips. He looked her in the eye for a long moment, his own eyes revealing little more than the fact that he was greatly upset and angry. He was really only a little annoyed, but it was more than he had ever directed at Seria before. Nate turned away quickly and continued down the road, back up to the castle. He veered off the path before he reached it though, headed towards a lake that had been visible in the distance from the castle.

He didn't jump in or try to drink himself to death. He wasn't ever really one to do such a thing. He just sat on the ledge over the crystal-clear water, staring down at the surface.

Seria flinched back sharply when he shouted at her, instantly growing still, barely even daring to take a breath. She had never felt afraid of Nate before, but now she did, and that almost scared her as much as him snapping at her like that. She watched him leave, panting softly, then turned and stalked off into the forest, feeling hurt. She wiped a few soft tears from her eyes, unaware of Luen watched her. He was the only other being that had stayed behind with them, mostly because he knew that if Vaira had attacked, he could've bested her due to his ice powers. He watched Seria go, frowning sadly, then took wolf form and ran after Nate. He found him where the dragonian had chose to sit and took human form, not making a move to go near him just yet. He knew Nate probably knew he was there, but he didn't make a sound or go close. Instead, the wolfling sat down some ways away from him, crossing his legs and placing his hands over his lap.

And he waited.

Nate sat like that for a long time. Finally, with great sadness in his voice, he said, "I turned on Seria." He spoke glumly. "I shouldn't have done that." He looked up, turning his head to look at the ground between him and Luen. "You can come here. Well...just...come here, please. I won't snap at you, too..."

Luen immediately moved over, careful not to touch him, though not out of fear. If he had feared Nate, he wouldn't have followed him in the first place. Luen resumed his position next to Nate, watching the dragonian quietly. He didn't say anything, knowing that there was a time and place for the words of others, and now was not the time for him to speak. He finally lifted a hand and gently placed it on Nate's shoulder, his white ears tilted back just enough to convey sadness and yet be able to hear well at the same time.

"Would you...would you give her a message from me?" Nate asked, sounding upset still. "I can't...I can't say any of this to her face...I don't know how she'll react. I'm scared...I hate to admit it, but I'm scared. I'm afraid of what she'll say...can you just..." He looked at Luen pleadingly. "Find me some paper and a pen. It'll be easier...I hope..."

Luen shook his head, now decideing to give his advice to the dragonian. "No." he said. "You know Seria. She's kind and loving, and she's a good friend. Words on paper? Even I can see how weak that makes you look. Like you can't bear to face her yourself. She'll understand, Nate. I'm going to go find her and bring her here, then I'm going to leave you two." He rubbed the dragonian's shoulder gently and said "Don't worry. You know Seria. You know her. Don't be afraid of her." He took wolf form and raced off, easily locating Seria by scent and spending a moment talking to her and explaining what Nate wanted. She hesitated at first, but Luen won out and managed to get her to follow him back to Nate. When they came into sight of him, Luen just sort of dropped back and let Seria keep walking, which she haltingly did. Seria neared Nate and paused, wringing her long-furred tail in her hands. Finally, she mustered up the courage to say "Nate...?"

Luen curled up under a tree quite a ways away from them, where he could hear them but could still sort of watch, just incase.

Nate flinched at her voice. He quickly relaxed, though, and stood. He turned towards her, showing his tearstained face. "I...I'm sorry, for snapping at you. It was wrong of me..." He murmured, unable to look at her in the eye. He sat down again, wiping his face on his sleeve. "I won't ask you to forgive me, but...I do ask that you'll listen to me. You wanted to know what was wrong, and...I'll give you an answer now. I'm not making an excuse for myself. I just...feel like someone should know, before I ask Forin to destroy these memories of mine. They're tearing me apart..."

Seria watched him with a slightly wary air, but as he spoke, she seemed to relax. Finally, she moved forward and sat next to him, wrapped her arms around him gently. "It's okay." she murmured, resting her head against his shoulder. "You can tell me." She moved one hand around to rest it over his lower back, already generating a soothing spell that helped to relieve any pain he might've had at the moment, which she was sure he had. Even after he had snapped at her, she was still trying to make him feel better.

Nate relaxed further, but he brought his hand around and put it into hers, interrupting the spell. He started to talk again after a moment more, still looking at the ground. "It was a year into my job as the head guard of Storaph Palace. I was...well, captivated by a young woman who had moved into town recently. She had a job as a flower seller, and her flowers were the most beautiful I had seen anywhere. She was cute and funny...she loved to make people laugh and smile. She was one of the few people who didn't flinch away when they found out I was a Dragonian. Her name was Crissie Olive, and it wasn't long before I realized that I was in love.

"I courted her for almost a full year before we got engaged. She...loved me deeply, as I loved her. But...something happened. The worst day of my entire life." Fresh tears slid down Nate's cheeks, though he forced himself to keep his voice even. "She came to visit me at the castle. She brought me lunch. She...came at the worst time possible. A bandit had attempted to break into the castle, and I had just bound him up. I was ready to take him to a cell when he...he broke loose somehow, the second she came close enough. He had a knife; I hadn't checked him properly...he grabbed Crissie, holding the knife to her neck...

"I did the same thing I did with you that one time, if you remember. Stabbed the knife through my own hand rather than letting it cut through her neck. It was worth it. The bandit tried to tackle me after that. At that point...I blew fire at him. I missed, and he ran...I tore the knife out of my hand and threw it. It hit him in the back of the neck. He died instantly.

"I was happy. Relieved. Until...until I saw her. The fire...I had missed him, but it had hit her. By the time any healer arrived, both her legs had to be amputated in order to keep her alive. Her hands were even worse...the healers did their best, but I...I had burned away most of the skin and muscle. Her hands never worked the same again. I hurt her...I hurt her so much...

"She could never work in her gardens again, never go back to the way things were...I would always ask her if she hated me for it. She would always reply no, but she always stopped to think about it. I apologized every day. Things were never the same again. She moved into the castle, where I could tend to her easier. But she wasn't happy, and...it was painfully obvious.

"I came to see her one day. The winter after I had injured her so, and Christmas Eve. I was bringing her a big bouquet of roses, chocolates, and a present for her to open in the morning. I sat down by her bed, and...she handed me a letter. She was shaking. As I started to read it, she...pulled out a knife, a-and..." Nate started to tremble, digging his claws into the grass. His voice was suddenly very quiet. "She stabbed herself in the neck. The n-note was a letter stating that she was done with this life and was going on to the next. She said...she had decided...that she had hated me all along, th-that she had been sc-scared about what I would do...if she told me the truth.

"I was so completely destroyed after that, the king ordered that I drink something he had a potion maker bring. It made me forget...it locked away my memories of her, all of them...I'm not sure why or how, but I started remembering them once I got into the healing spring. It happened so long ago...but it feels like it happened yesterday." He squeezed her hand tightly, then let go and pushed her away. "I don't want your pity. But I know I'm not deserving...I don't deserve your friendship. Or your kindness, or anyone's care...much less love. I...I-I'm a monster..." He buried his face in his arms, not wanting Seria to see his tears anymore.

Seria was silent for a long moment, just sitting nearby. "I..." she murmured, and he heard the tiny sound of a little droplet of water hitting the ground. "...don't think of you as a monster..." She brushed a hand under her eyes. "What happened...was terrible, yes. It was unfortunate and..." She covered her eyes with one hand, then just spoke. "It obviously was terrible, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve friendship, much less love. Even after hearing this, my feelings towards you haven't diminished. Rather, they've grown." She lifted her head, staring at the water, then just continued speaking. "I can tell that we'll never be a couple." she said. "I admit, the thought has crossed my mind, but in the end, my heart lies with Cynyr. It always has. But I've watched you and grown to be friends with you and I would never give that up for anything in the world." She sniffled quietly, then said "I like you a lot, Nate. You..." She sighed, then said "You've been there to comfort me and help me this whole time. If not for you, I would still be stuck in depression over losing my cat form, which I know is meaningless." She slowly stood up, then suddenly leaned down and hugged him tightly, pressing her face against his neck. "You're no monster." she said, trying to sound firm but only ending up sounding sad. Sad but truthful, as if her life had depended on the truthfulness of the words. She pulled back and moved to walk away, murmuring to herself about sensing Tasia in pain.

Nate didn't follow her, his eyes trailing back to the water. How easy would it be, just to drink and be done with it? It would probably hurt. Perhaps drowning himself would be a better option.

Seria's words had done so little to ease his despairing mind, obviously. He was a monster, and he knew it. Nate was utterly convinced of it. He not only hurt the woman he loved to the point where she hated him, he scared her to the point where she had to kill herself to avoid lying more. Nate remembered something and turned his head slightly, his eyes falling on Luen. He dug his claws into the grass again. "Luen...do you hate me?" He rasped quietly, fear and pain in his eyes. "T-tell me the truth, I...I won't do anything if you lie..."

Luen, laying quietly nearby, slowly stood up and took human form, then made his way over to Nate. He stopped in front of the dragonian and stared down at him, then spoke. "Do you want me to be honest?" he asked, his emerald eyes flashing slightly in the sunlight. "Then I will be." He lowered his head for a moment, thinking over what he wanted to say, then spoke.

"At first, I did hate you, deep inside. You burned me. My arms and legs are covered in these scratchy, painful scars. They make it hard for me to be as agile as I once was. I was too scared to show my hatred, of course. I was afraid that if you knew how I felt, you would burn me worse. That was then, however. I said 'at first'. Now, I don't hate you. I respect you and care about you, because now I know what happened was an accident. Just like what happened to Crissie. Hers was much worse, of course, but it has the same feel to it. A fight, an accidental blast of fire, a person scarred beyond repair. Yes, I hated you at first, and here I am, admitting it. I won't lie to you. I did. But now I won't. You are my friend, Nate Furhblast." He tilted his head back slightly, glancing up at the sky. "I would be dead right now if not for you, really." he said. "If you hadn't burned me, I would've went back with Nelu and eventually have died of starvation from the tracker that was in me. A long, painful death. Later on, I would've killed myself over the guilt from killing those guards to save you when you had been taken captive. Those memories were...and still are...agony for me. I knew how I was going to kill myself, too." He raised one hand and held it to his head with one finger pointed at his skull. "A single ice spell." he said. "One thick icicle. Right through my brain. It would've happened in an instant, and I had designed the spell to pierce out my eyes and go down my spine to make certain that I died. But you stopped me. You came in and comforted me and showed me that I could live past the terrible memories I had." He moved his hand away from his head and created the icicle he had talked about, staring at it. "I was going to kill myself with this." he said. "I am holding my death in my hands. And here's what I do with it." He lifted his arm for a moment, then brought it down and released his hold on the icicle, watching as it shattered into thousands of tiny shards on the ground. He watched sadly as it broke, then looked at Nate again. "You are the only thing that stopped that from going into my head." he said. "No monster would do that. So yes, I hated you. At first. Before I knew you. Now, I couldn't bring myself to muster up even the slightest bit of anger." He crouched down in front of Nate on one knee, placing his cool hands on either side of the dragonian's face. "I don't hate you." he said, closing his eyes.

"Lahnir."

Nate looked Luen straight in the eyes. The wolfling was able to watch as the majority of his fear and panic faded. He still looked horribly broken up about all of...everything. He relaxed somewhat, closing his eyes. "Okay...I believe you..." He murmured. "I'm sorry...I-I'm panicking, but I know I shouldn't..." He turned away from Luen, looking back at the water again. "Get me away from this, Luen..." He said quietly. "Help me...I want to kill myself after all this, but I know what'll happen if I do..."

These memories returning really had reduced him to...this.

Luen wrapped his arms around Nate, murmuring "It's okay. It's okay," to him. He helped Nate up and took his hand, forcing the dragonian to walk. And walk. Amnairus was a beautiful, wide open place. Luen trusted that he would be able to find his way back if they got far, so he just walked, making Nate follow by their joined hands. Luen glanced over his shoulder and said "You helped me when I felt like ending everything. It only makes sense that I help you." He led Nate away from the water, away from everything, to a hill topped with a white weeping willow tree. Luen led Nate to this and sat him down with his back against the tree, then curled up against Nate with his arms around the dragonian. He was too small to hold Nate, who was bigger and more muscular than him, but he did his best to hug as much of him as possible. "Don't dwell on your memories," Luen soothed. "I know how terrible it is to lose someone you love." He closed his eyes at his memories of Jewel, then said "I'm here. You never had a chance to come to terms with your loss. Now you have it. And I'm here with you. Besides...somewhere out there in the world, you will, whether you like it or not, find someone else that catches your eye. Not Seria. She already has someone." He sighed, then said "Personally, I believe that Crissie wasn't right for you. You might not want to hear it, but that's what I think after hearing what she did. A true partner would stick with you no matter what you did, especially if it was an accident. I would understand what she did if you had done it on purpose, but you didn't. You could've walked away and left her, but you didn't. What she did only ended up hurting you. You were perfectly willing to stay with her and take care of her and love her just as much as when she was normal. She just couldn't see it. She convinced herself to hate you and couldn't see what you were doing for her." He pressed his lithe body against Nate's side, touching his forehead to the side of the dragonian's skull. He kept his arms around him, holding him close, like Nate had done for him so long ago. He didn't speak again, just let his presence comfort his friend.

Nate let Luen hug him, though his back throbbed at the touch. He said nothing though, completely ignoring the pain. He focused on Luen's words, silently attempting to convince himself that Luen's words were true. "But the thief...he b-broke loose in the first place because I...I failed to check him for weapons properly...a-and even after that, I knew she was around, I...I should have been more careful...and even then, I-I was too foolish to realize that she was scared of me! That fear made her kill herself! Then there was the Massacre of Grittle...so many people, dead in a matter of hours...how many others have to suffer at my hands? At my flames?!"

"Nate."

Luen's voice was calm and gentle, his touch reassuring.

"What's done is done. You can't live your life being afraid of your powers." He hesitated for a moment, then said "Did I ever tell you of how I got this?" He lifted a hand and brushed his white hair away from the back of his neck, turning slightly so Nate could see the thick scar that ran across his neck, covered neatly by his hair. He let his hair cover it again and said "When I first developed my mage powers, I was eight. Nelu was seven. Jewel wasn't born yet. Our mother gave us over to one of Obelisk's men, along with the promise of her soon-to-be-born child, under the lie that he could teach me how to use my powers and that Nelu and Jewel would be safe." He snorted. "Oh, he taught me how to use my powers, all right. It was horrible. He would hurt me and make me train until I could barely stand. I suppose I could thank him for the amount of power all of that training gave me, but I would much rather hate him. Then...Jewel was born and came into my life..." He paused, looking down. "I loved her from the moment I saw her. And she wiped away my hatred and replaced it with fear. The fear of what the man would do to her. When the day came for him to take her and start training with her too, I instantly decided that he wasn't going to lay a finger on her. So I attacked and just let all of my powers out. And I killed that man. But...I killed my mother too." He shook his head, closing his eyes for a moment. "I didn't see her and my powers were too much for me to handle. So I killed her. And when my powers arched around to hit Jewel, I jumped in and refused to let her die." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I nearly killed myself in the process. If the spike would've went any lower, it would've severed my spine. But killing my mother sparked long-standing fear of killing people...as you've seen..." He again took Nate's head into his hands, sighing as he pressed their foreheads together. "You're stronger than me." he murmured. "All you need is some help with learning to better control your fire power. And I'll help you. Not like the man helped me. But better. If I can learn to control my vast powers..." He moved one hand and made a tiny snowman that rested on the palm of his hand. "...then you can control yours." he finished, transfering the snowman to Nate's hand. "And you hurt me too, Nate." he said, pressing one of his scarred-up hands to Nate's shoulder. "But I'm not afraid."

Nate held the snowman gently in his hands, expecting it to melt from the heat he naturally gave off. Luen kept it frozen, however, which was a good thing. If it had melted in Nate's hands, it would have been a crippling blow to his already distressed and weak frame of mind. But as mentioned before, it did not melt. Nate held it for several long moments before setting it down on the ground and wiping his eyes.

After a few more moments that stretched into minutes, Nate sighed heavily, seemingly getting himself under control again. "Thank you," He murmured at long last. "For not hating me. And...well, for everything. I couldn't ask for a better friend."

((Soon, we should switch to either Werr pleading with Galai, or him heading back with a couple Amnarians to free the Dragon/Dragonian. :T))

Luen smiled softly and said "Don't thank me. I don't need thanks for helping someone I care about." He shifted backwards, smiling at Nate, then took wolf form and nuzzled him against his neck. The wolf's fur was cool and calming to the touch, so full of ice magic it was. He shook himself, sending a scattering of snowflakes into the air, then took human form and held a hand out for Nate. "Come on," he said. "I'm sure sitting like that is rough on your back." He smiled at the look on Nate's face. "What? Did you seriously think you would keep your back a secret from me for long? Don't worry; I won't tell anyone else. You mask it well, so I doubt they'll figure it out." He slid his thin, rough hand into Nate's and helped the dragonian up, again consenting to say nothing and let his presence do the comforting. He started walking, leading Nate back in the direction they had come from.

He really was a very wise, kindly little wofling.

By the time they reached the road again, Nate seemed more or less back to normal, but there was still a hint of sadness in his eyes that probably wouldn't be leaving anytime soon. They reached the road in time to catch sight of Werr and Airlia heading back towards the wall and cave, a couple Amnarians close behind. Of course, they had explained things to Galai. Being the understanding deity she was, well...